I am not a Drama Queen…I merely evolved.

Evolutionary Personality theorists would view my intensely emotional, highly neurotic personality as a success to the evolution-based theory because not only have I survived thus far, but I have survived beautifully. The Evolutionary Personality Theory spins off of the biological premise of Natural Selection. Charles Darwin postulated that if we are to survive, then we must evolve or develop physical characteristics that allow us greater control over the surrounding environment. It is suggested that humans need to develop psychological mechanisms which allow us to manage common human problems. Two human conditions which seem to affect many people negatively are Social Exclusion and Anxiety, the fear that develops from the idea that we may be excluded from a desired group or relationship.
As a young child and along my journey through adolescence, I was physically awkward, cross-eyed, socially inept and emotionally imbalanced. I also found that my family remained willing to constantly remind me of these characteristics. I was raised in the backwoods of Maryland in a socially depressed community along with over a dozen siblings and any transient person my parents decided to welcome into our home. I observed the immediate effects of parental neglect and the latent affects of social inadequacy. When I was reaching adolescence, my family moved to an upper classed neighborhood in Phoenix, Arizona. I found that my feral behavior and disregard for the social community, was not copacetic with survival. I was always in trouble. I didn’t understand certain social constructs such as morality in appearance, thought and actions. I found that I was quickly rejected by many people because I was a threat to their community. Therefore, I found it was time to evolve. My immediate family suffered from a culturally impoverished mindset and quickly rejected my desires for greater community acceptance. The saying, “misery loves company” became apparent.
Through a series of triumphs and failures, moments of inclusion and blatant rejections, I found a greater quality of life from certain psychological mechanisms. The times when I experienced exclusion from schools, churches and social events created a great amount of depression within me. I learned that the anxiety that developed from the fear of rejection was enough of a motivator to propel me toward survival. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to fail. I certainly didn’t want to go back to the life where I came from. Anxiety is often assessed as a negative emotion. I have learned that no person has any negative emotions, only emotions that are misused and uncontrolled. Anxiety fueled my determination to reject behaviors that were harmful to me. Today, that same anxiety propels me to succeed in College, to confront negativity and to spit in the face of anything I perceive as detrimental to my survival. I’ve learned to engage in conversations that are appropriate to the environment. I have learned that education is the only thing I take with me when I die. I have learned that adhering to a set of standards, thoughts or emotional responses are all effective means for creating an environment in which I would die from a failure to thrive.
Charles Darwin might claim that my short stature, subpar vision and disproportionately low center of gravity are all physical reasons that I will not fare well in the race for survival. However, he may also find that my quick wit, intellectual motivation and community-oriented social needs are all valid arguments to why I will continue to thrive long after my physical evolution has stunted me.