I am proof that Behaviorial and Cognitive Theorists are soul sisters

So, in the past few years, I have had the opportunity to witness TFCBT (Trauma Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectic Behavior Therapy), Psycho Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, Family-based CBT… I am therapeutically all set!
When I went through basic training, I went through the greatest behavioral alteration process I have ever encountered. A Drill Sergeant’s main purpose in life is to relieve me of every behavior that: A: Could destroy the peace, B: Kill me and C: Kill other soldiers. The process was strictly of the behavioral flavor. Deprive me of sleep and creature comforts, then raise my stress level and anxiety to new personal highs, and then allow me to fail at every aspect of my life for one week, and hopefully, my personality becomes a smooshy substance that can be shaped into that of a United States Soldier. For the most part, that worked. But, you can’t keep that ever present stable personality down for too long. Eventually, every soldier takes their new standards and incorporate their own unique qualities, traits and snafus. I will always have a soldier’s mentality in some ways. But now, I find that it is an enhancement, a facet, of the greater human~ Me.
Behaviorists have long proclaimed that we are creatures who are shaped and conditioned by our environments. Historically, behavioral theorists such as B.F. Skinner and John Watson have claimed that we are a product solely of our reactions to environmental stimuli. In regards to personality, a behaviorist may decide that my core personality is non-essential because a change of environment will result in a change of my personality. Theoretically, this makes sense except they forgot about a common human characteristic referred to as personal agency or choice. If a theory can claim that helplessness is learned, then it must be logical to claim the opposite idea personal choice is used when the person chooses to be helpless, or helpful.
Cognitive theorists assume that a person’s thoughts drive their behaviors. If a person has learned that they will physically suffer from a lack of food, then hunger will evoke anxiety which will in turn require a person to use their learned behavior which will ensure they will eat soon. Behaviorists can pretend cognition is non essential but cognition is non essential if it produces no behaviors. Thus, Cognitive-Behavioral theorists have come to light.

Here's my husband and me working hard to put the emotion aside and work through the incorrect beliefs I have about my teenager who was behaving very poorly. Dialectics gave me the skills to seperate my immediate anger from my irrational belief that she purposefully strives so hard to punish me. This one worked out well. I was able to accept that this was just poor choices of her own in that moment. I was able to validate how she was feeling and end up enjoying the evening rather than the alternative temper tantrum in public.

Dialectic Behavioral Therapy taught me how to access the thoughts I have about an event and then consult my emotions before I choose the behavior I will display. The Army taught me to shoot to kill and wait for someone else to ask questions. DBT/CBT taught me to validate the person I wish to kill and seek out a middle path rather than, “killing em all and letting God sort em out”.

A person is immediately subjected to many things from the time they are conceived within a mother’s womb. By the time the child is three, they have formed expectations about love and attachment. By the time they are five years old, they have learned specific behaviors that allow them to get their needs for love, attachment, security and comfort met. Regardless of whether the needs a person feels are appropriate, and with equal disregard to the success of the behaviors, some theorists believe that a process is taking place. Each person has an environment that is constantly changing and affecting their life. When the different events occur, a person observes the event, attaches a belief (or a schema) to the event and registers an emotional bond to the event. The emotional bond seems to allow the person quicker access to previously assimilated coping methods for the event they are faced with that has similar circumstances. It seems that the language-based articulation of an event takes a lot of time and energy therefore, as a human; I find that I feel an emotional connectivity long before I can access the belief I have about my outcomes from the event.



This last image is amazing for a couple of reasons. For me, it sums up Nature vs. Nurture with no words spoken. This is me and my oldest daughter. She was adopted this past February however has been in my care for six years. The family resemblance is uncanny even though I am not her biological mother. Everywhere we go, people tell me that we look so much alike.